Country Music Reclamation Project: That’s What I Like

Country music has a lot of comedy acts, almost all of whom aren’t funny. But the great country artists all seem to have a pretty good sense of humor, and there aren’t many who don’t have a humorous song in their act. Hell, Hank Williams recorded Settin’ the Woods on Fire and Nobody’s Lonesome For Me, and he suffered severe back pain for nearly all his 29 years.

Onie Wheeler isn’t quite as well-known but was just as talented. He recorded plenty of heartbreakers and sacred numbers, but his original “That’s What I Like” is full of charm, even if some of the lines might, um, be interpreted less innocently these days.

That’s What I Like (recorded by Onie Wheeler)
Written by Onie Wheeler

When you kiss me ’til my heart begins to flutter
And then you pet me just like a mother
When you get through, all I can do is st-t-t-t-tutter
Well, that’s what I like

And when you’re walkin’ me down the street
The boys all eye you from head to feet
And you say, ‘Honey, they’re not for me’
That’s what I like

I like you ’cause you’re just the same,
morning, noon and night
When I’m in the wrong, you take the blame
You never start a fight

And when I order up a drink for two
And you don’t want it but you say you do
And you pay the bill when we get through
That’s what I like

When we plan a six o’clock date
And I don’t get there ’til half-past eight
And you say, ‘It’s early — it’s not too late’
That’s what I like

Then we go out on a great big spree
And don’t get home ’til 2 or 3
You say, ‘It’s early’ and make love to me
That’s what I like

You’re just the kind of girl for me
Honest, sweet and true
If you didn’t cling to me like a honeybee
I don’t know what I’d do

If I said, ‘Honey, please marry me’
And you didn’t wanna, you’d still agree
That’s what fills my heart with glee
That’s what I like.

Let’s see — Onie has a gal that buys him drinks, ignores the other guys, overlooks his faults and still finds him irresistible? I don’t suppose she has a sister. . .